Is it sexual coercion even if I didn’t dare to say no?
Does this count as sexual assaultYou decide what is assaultive for you. The word assault is not found in the Swiss Criminal Code. (see sexual harassment). An assault does not necessarily have to take place through touching. The way someone stares at you, makes gestures or ...?
I went on a Tinder dateA "date" is an appointment made by two people to get to know each other better and possibly develop a romantic or sexual relationship. Dates can take a variety of forms, such as dinner, a movie, a party or other shared activity. It's import... and wrote beforehand that I didn't want anything more on the first date than to get to know him. He then started to touch me and I was visibly overwhelmed by the situation and didn't have the courage to say no.
He also asked me if it was a bit much for me, to which I replied yes, but he carried on and started fingering me. I was so overwhelmed that I never dared to say no when he asked if it was okay and I said several times that it hurt and he kept going.
I was extremely overwhelmed and can no longer really remember it, it's as if my mind had shut down...
Dear Superwoman
I'm so sorry about what happened to you and it's not okay at all. I'm glad you got in touch, it's really important. It's always about consent.
Even if you had clearly agreed on your Tinder date that you wanted to have a sexSex is an intimate activity between two or more people who share physical closeness. Sex can be practiced in different ways, depending on the preferences and desires of the people involved. The only rule that always applies: sex without mut... date and only changed your mind in the middle of the date, the guy would still have had no right to do this assault because he clearly did not have your consent. Even if you didn't say a clear NO, this is not OK, because you didn't say yes to his actions. You also clearly showed with your behaviour that you didn't feel comfortable and he recognized this and therefore asked.
He has clearly taken advantage of the situation and is in the wrong. You haven't done anything wrong and it's important that you get the help you need now. It's also quite normal not to know everything about a situation like this because your head and emotions shut down as a form of self-protection.
The question of whether this is sexual assaultYou decide what is assaultive for you. The word assault is not found in the Swiss Criminal Code. (see sexual harassment). An assault does not necessarily have to take place through touching. The way someone stares at you, makes gestures or ... or another criminal offense is best discussed with a specialist. You can find help in your canton here: Opferhilfen Schweiz.
You are also welcome to contact me again.
Thank you for your question, I'm sure you'll encourage other young women in your situation to talk about it and get help.
Kind regards
Corinne
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